Elena Podsobiei
Oh, you took it away from me
Oh society, you took it away from me
When you brainwashed me with formulas of how I should be
Shaped me and raped me of my individuality
Schooled me and fooled me
Told me what I could and could not see
Took me and shook me off my urges to be free
Alice Phoebe Lou
Alice Phoebe Lou
How many poems haven´t been written, things – been done, and songs – chanted? Just for the reason that the first thing that meets our inner creator is the “department of inner bureaucracy”. How many people do you know, who have never really lived their lives and were just continuously getting ready for a “big start”? In this article, we´ll try to discover how to find the balance between planning for the future and taking an action and moving forward.
What do we call “the department of inner bureaucracy”? It is an acquired block, a defense reaction that we tend to use when we are on the crossroad and don´t know what decision to take. This department motivates us to follow the familiar way because we were taught that if we follow this particular way, everything will be all right.
Nonetheless, we forget to consider the fact that all the situations that happen to us are not passive and immovable. They depend on multiple factors which are in constant change as well. What can we do under these circumstances of uncertainly? Face it and move with the situation, try to be attentive to changing details and try to destroy our habit of doing the same thing even if it doesn´t work. This is a pattern offered to us by society.
Nonetheless, we forget to consider the fact that all the situations that happen to us are not passive and immovable. They depend on multiple factors which are in constant change as well. What can we do under these circumstances of uncertainly? Face it and move with the situation, try to be attentive to changing details and try to destroy our habit of doing the same thing even if it doesn´t work. This is a pattern offered to us by society.
Do you remember, how it worked in childhood? Your parents probably used a reward motivation approach. In such a way you learned: if I do X, I can achieve Y. The fact is that it doesn´t work when you grow up. Each and every person has its own way to establish this pattern, according to his/her personal background. In childhood, we are explained how to do essential things. At school, we are taught how to start each new paragraph, what pattern of social behavior we should follow, and even the way we should think. However, here comes the question: “Is the freedom of thoughts important for decision-making?” Indeed! Being creative in your daily life is important.
When we were kids, we were taught how to do different things in a certain way. So when we grow up we tend to follow the same instruction we received more than 30 years ago! Try to ask yourself if it is still productive and be able to face the true answer. It is not only counter-productive, it is even out of logic. Unfortunately, kids are taught to do things in a certain way because it is more comfortable for their parents.
It takes more time, effort, and patience to show your children the multiplicity of existing (and not even existing) ways to get things done.
But once one becomes mature, it is natural to rethink some issues and to change your attitude towards this issue. Changing the way you perceive things can be helpful not only to arrive at some decision but also to start doing things you have always wanted to do and to do them your way!
But once one becomes mature, it is natural to rethink some issues and to change your attitude towards this issue. Changing the way you perceive things can be helpful not only to arrive at some decision but also to start doing things you have always wanted to do and to do them your way!
Accepting a change has always been difficult. It is not easy for the reason that all these years you have probably been creating a certain environment around you. This environment contains elements that are interdependent. If you destroy one element, there is always one that comes to the rescue and replaces it. Is there any solution? Be patient and start taking responsibility for your life step by step.
How determination is connected with responsibility? You really take responsibility for your life only if you actively participate in it, if it is you who makes decisions and doesn´t get carried away by external circumstances. Easy to say, but difficult to do, even if it´s obvious that big change can be beneficial for you. Here are the questions you have probably asked yourself:
How determination is connected with responsibility? You really take responsibility for your life only if you actively participate in it, if it is you who makes decisions and doesn´t get carried away by external circumstances. Easy to say, but difficult to do, even if it´s obvious that big change can be beneficial for you. Here are the questions you have probably asked yourself:
I am distressed. How do I know if I have taken the right decision?
I´d like to know more. How can I take the right decision without having all the necessary information?
I feel that I´m stuck. How to overcome my fear and move forward, doing what I want to do?
You can´t know the answer to all of them. But here are some tips that can help you to move forward and to make a positive change in your life.
I´d like to know more. How can I take the right decision without having all the necessary information?
I feel that I´m stuck. How to overcome my fear and move forward, doing what I want to do?
You can´t know the answer to all of them. But here are some tips that can help you to move forward and to make a positive change in your life.
You will never have all the information.
It is common for us to avoid taking important decisions just because we want to know more, before we take the next step. It is true that we need to get familiar with the situation. But if you hope to receive a ready-made answer which will be crystal-clear for you, you´ll probably have to wait for a long time. Isn´t life like a caravan of questions, mistakes, improvements, and readjustments? Take the best decision you can take at the moment and keep moving!
You´ll need the courage to trust yourself. We tend to find a hundred excuses just to avoid necessary changes. Nonetheless, the limitation that is normally in the heart of our excuses consists in the lack of confidence in yourself. We don´t trust ourselves. We think that if we get in the pitch, we will not know what to do and how to react. We are worried about the fact that it will be difficult to cope with the situation on unexplored soil of the future. Trust yourself.
You´ll need the courage to trust yourself. We tend to find a hundred excuses just to avoid necessary changes. Nonetheless, the limitation that is normally in the heart of our excuses consists in the lack of confidence in yourself. We don´t trust ourselves. We think that if we get in the pitch, we will not know what to do and how to react. We are worried about the fact that it will be difficult to cope with the situation on unexplored soil of the future. Trust yourself.
You have already come over unexpected change before, haven´t you? Imagine that you are driving a car and suddenly your tire blows out. You probably might get late to work, but there you have it. After all, everything turns out to be fine, you just need time to get through it. It doesn´t matter what happens – you´ll certainly figure out how to deal with it.
What is the worst thing that can happen?
Like jealousy, the majority of our fears are just inside our heads. When you take your time and just think of the worst possible scenario, you´ll realize that even the worst thing is not so terrible as you imagine, that you´ll be able to overcome it. If anything happens, it means that you have enough internal force and resources to deal with the situation.
It is the universal law. One of the main reasons why change doesn´t happen is because we don´t even try, we tend to avoid change and stay in our comfort zone. Nonetheless, evolving always means movement. You make it or break it. Long breaks are fraught with decadence.
The process is as important as the result.
We tend to worry about everything. You might ask yourself something like: “What if I set a goal, but don´t reach the finish line?” Guess what? You have the full right to change your mind. Even more: in case you don´t reach your goal, it doesn´t mean you have lost. It was you who set this goal in the first place. It was your decision and you have all the reason to change it on the midway. It is true that failure is not your destination, neither is a success. Enjoy the process of moving forward.
Keep following the opportunities.
If you are on the verge of taking the right decision, you are probably concerned about the fact that you can turn out to be the hostage of circumstances, the situation without any visible solutions. Invert your perspective. If you think about it in another way, new alternatives don´t normally limit our opportunities.
One of the best moments is when you follow your dream for dear life and you discover lots of new options you have never seen before at the beginning of your way. If you don´t miss interesting opportunities on the way to your dream, you can be sure that you´ll always have a choice.
Make an effort – it is important! It can sound like something really basic, but one of the reasons the change doesn´t happen is because we do not try our best. Why does it happen? For some people, it can be easy to follow the way of least resistance and to find excuses rather than trying. So if life offers you a challenge, ask yourself: why not?
How can it help me in the future? Will it help me to grow as a person? The answer is usually positive. Every challenge implies an effort of overcoming obstacles. Making an effort reveals your inner force. It helps you to believe in yourself. It helps you to grow.
How can it help me in the future? Will it help me to grow as a person? The answer is usually positive. Every challenge implies an effort of overcoming obstacles. Making an effort reveals your inner force. It helps you to believe in yourself. It helps you to grow.
So sometimes we have a tendency not to try because it is easy to find excuses. People who don´t want to make a change in their lives are like addicts. Imagine that you ask a smoker: “Do you want to give up smoking?” This person will probably reply: “Yes, sure. I can do it anytime, as soon as I want it”. But the thing is that it is not him/her who controls the addiction, desire to smoke, it is the other way round.
It is the habit that keeps control over this individual´s life. So, trust yourself and don´t be afraid to fail. If we try and fail, we are afraid to look like misfits. Nevertheless, failures can happen and no one is immune to them. The good thing is that if you try – you will win more than you think. Start with something that is easy to accomplish.
It is the habit that keeps control over this individual´s life. So, trust yourself and don´t be afraid to fail. If we try and fail, we are afraid to look like misfits. Nevertheless, failures can happen and no one is immune to them. The good thing is that if you try – you will win more than you think. Start with something that is easy to accomplish.
Won´t you argue that it is not possible to climb Everest if you don´t try to train in advance? Maybe at the beginning taking steps towards a change can frighten you. In this case ask yourself a question: “What is it that makes me worry?” Don´t be afraid to go deep down to the roots of your indecisiveness. Imagine that you don´t like your job but you are afraid to change something about it.
You probably don’t want to lose your income and healthy sleep. If you don´t like what you do for a living, it doesn´t mean you should quit immediately. Think of the following issues: what is that that you don´t like doing in your current job, how can the job of your dream look like and where can you find the features you are looking for. After that, you can actually start looking for what you want. If you fail, it means you haven´t got it yet. Be a change! Try to ask yourself how you can improve your skills in order to find what you´re looking for.
It is true that you shouldn´t change your world right away, but try to achieve some little changes in your inner world and you will notice the positive impact of these changes in a short time. If you are terribly afraid to do things in the wrong way, you should know that it is natural, but try to keep your thoughts free from fear. You are conditioned by your cultural background and education but the only person who can save you from dependence and fear of failure – is you. You have urges to be free to do what your calling suggests you and you are free if it is you who takes decisions about your life if it is you who takes action.
You probably don’t want to lose your income and healthy sleep. If you don´t like what you do for a living, it doesn´t mean you should quit immediately. Think of the following issues: what is that that you don´t like doing in your current job, how can the job of your dream look like and where can you find the features you are looking for. After that, you can actually start looking for what you want. If you fail, it means you haven´t got it yet. Be a change! Try to ask yourself how you can improve your skills in order to find what you´re looking for.
It is true that you shouldn´t change your world right away, but try to achieve some little changes in your inner world and you will notice the positive impact of these changes in a short time. If you are terribly afraid to do things in the wrong way, you should know that it is natural, but try to keep your thoughts free from fear. You are conditioned by your cultural background and education but the only person who can save you from dependence and fear of failure – is you. You have urges to be free to do what your calling suggests you and you are free if it is you who takes decisions about your life if it is you who takes action.
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